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connie lee

what is the difference between chinese and foreigner guys

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    what is the difference between chinese and foreigner guys

First introduce myself: I am Chinese girl, 30 years old, looks cute (I think lol) and I like scuba diving、sky diving、reading books and watching movies . I have two serious relationships one is Chinese (6 months), the other is Australian (2 months). Except that, I date with some Chinese and foreigners also.

About Chinese

Usually Chinese guy (I mean Hangzhou ) they are nice and gentle. The date steps like this :feeling good with each other----coffee shop、watch movies or dinner lunch couple of times ----hold hands、kiss ----sex.All steps are slow.

 1、the age    

 My parents want me to find a Chinese, but the most embarrassing situation is Chinese guy at my age usually prefer to choose the girl much younger than 30 years old, even some of them like me, i meet almost their requirements :good looking , Highly educated, good job, nice salary except one thing I’m old. 29 years old is ok but 30 is not!!

  2、Crazy thing     

I blind date at least 10 Chinese in 2015. When they ask me about my hobby I always say I like scuba diving and sky diving I have licenses then they will look at me as I’m psychopath. They run away!

About foreigner

Foreigners (I mean some I met ) they are nice and gentle. The date steps like this :feeling passion----coffee shop、watch movies or dinner lunch maybe 2times  ----hold hands、kiss sex. All steps are fast.

The reason I find foreigner not because they are better than Chinese but because they don’t very care about the age thing and I’m adventurer, I think all the men in the world eventually are the same. If fall in love with someone the feeling are the same no matter where are u come from and what are the skin color.

1、family pressure     

If u have a relationship with foreigner there will be a lot of pressure from ur parents. U need to have a strong willpower.

2、how long stay in Hangzhou

Usually when both of u have fantastic feeling and u think can have future but suddenly he tell u 2 months later his contract finished .he will find a new job maybe not in china depends on the salary . Trust me, that is worse than kill me! Although they like or love with each other but when talk about salary thing any thing will become uncertain.

3、background

As Chinese u can search his information, It is not very difficult .but as foreigner, it is super difficult unless he is honest, he tell u everything. One guy I met before he told me he is not married yet but later I found he has wife (still married not ex) and 2kids.

All this is only my opinions .No defense to everyone !

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1. The person you choose is none of your parents business ----- I understand the Chinese weird thinking but it's. NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS. It's YOUR life.

2. Many fly in/fly out teachers can be a problem. They come, they go, they sometimes don't care how it affects you. BUT there are many who are genuine, treat you as they should, and are perfect partners.

3. Those who have been in China for some time, are more likely to to be interested in a REAL relationship, rather than a quickie..

4. Ask lots of normal relationship type questions and only YOU can determine if it is genuine or not, with the potential for a long and lasting relationship. 

5. The age thing about Chinese "forgotten" women is of course total crap, and 30 or over 30 is quite normal in the "real World". Pay no attention to Parents, Grand parents or other older Chinese who have that way of thinking. Find you love, and be happy. 

 

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The only thing i can say to you is: the life is only one and more short than we really think, so live it as you want. Not as your parents wants not as the cultural enviroment wants.

Since i get in China i have the feeling thing run faster, days are shorter etc etc. Never understand why 30y equal old.

Trust me do not searching for love you wasting you time, it will come suddnley and unexpected.

Oh, and anyway i found much more intresting a woman who do scuba diving rather than a woman who spend whole day watching chinese/korean soap opera (series).

 

Cheers

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3 minutes ago, ivanoros87 said:

The only thing i can say to you is: the life is only one and more short than we really think, so live it as you want. Not as your parents wants not as the cultural enviroment wants.

Since i get in China i have the feeling thing run faster, days are shorter etc etc. Never understand why 30y equal old.

Trust me do not searching for love you wasting you time, it will come suddnley and unexpected.

Oh, and anyway i found much more intresting a woman who do scuba diving rather than a woman who spend whole day watching chinese/korean soap opera (series).

 

Cheers

Trust me do not searching for love you wasting you time, it will come suddnley and unexpected.

Before i totally believe that ,so im not worry about it at all .

waiting waitng waiting unitl now .im 30. lol

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So just let your parents introducing someone to you.
If you need someone to satisfy your ego and make your parents happy and show to the society there's nothing wrong with you next time you have a blind date just lie. Instead of scuba diving you can say your favourite sport is Taobao. Instead reading book you'd say you like watching tv.

If you finding real love better you get a dog or a cat.

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17 hours ago, connie lee said:

2、Crazy thing     

I blind date at least 10 Chinese in 2015. When they ask me about my hobby I always say I like scuba diving and sky diving I have licenses then they will look at me as I’m psychopath. They run away!

Hahahaha! 

 

Chill out, find a man that wants an independent woman and he won't give a shit for how old are you or what's your hobby. Some guys (me) don't want to have a younger gf because mainly in china, they are way too childish.

 

Relax and be happy! Soon you are going to find someone that is special for you(not for your parents, they won't sleep and smeel the terrible breath instead of you). Your life, your choices... it's not easy for chinese to take such kind of decision , but if something goes wrong, it was your mistake, not your parents.

 

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Wow this topic, had ignited some activity. I hope you dont mind I include myself in this discourse on age and love. 

AGE

Its true. I have local friends who really feel that age is an issue. Like if one is 30+ it will be extremely hard to find love. No amount of convincing will help.  I have yet to wrap my head on this. I am 44 and definitely believe that everything gets better with age. Although having young friends, make for a good idea to feel younger but there will come a time when you will hit a brick wall and would wish for more wisdom. Not to forget the "I am too old for this sh*t" realisations from time to time. 

CRAZY THING

I think its because, normally when one is looking for a companion a partner, experiences should be shared. I don't scuba, but I swim, but you would wish someone who will complement , I guess the aversion comes from not seeing a partnership moving forward it does not say anything against your beliefs or if your chosen hobby is bad. Maybe he is looking to share tv series, movies, books ... smokes. etc. Its just the way it is.. Although the more complicated the hobby extremely limits potential choices. But there are ways to complement , like scuba is to swim, fish, shoot photographs, yachting, etc. 

FAMILY

Now this is hard. I know a lot of broken hearts due to this. I guess no amount of yelling "Its not their business" will help. It just happens. So if one feels strong on a foreign partner, fight for it, if its not worth fighting for then let go. Well at least it was fun while it lasted.

 

BACKGROUND

If one is not upfront and tell the truth at the beginning, is it worth the while? I guess its a two way thing, if one tells the truth the other should have an open mind. Everyone deserves to be happy I guess.

 

Just thought of sharing some incite :) 

 

 

 

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Hi Connie, 

Probably chinese culture is still very strong in mind of chinese boys. I think is very strange to consider "old" a 30 years old girl...i mean i'm from Italy and in my country is exactly the opposite. Nobody wants a wife younger than 30 years old.

You have normal hobbies, you like the same things as many other people loves. 

I have many chinese friends that usually tells me that they have to find a husband before coming too old and they usually took the first guy that manifest some interest in them. I think this is totally wrong and a family should prefer that you find the right man that you will love forever instead finding a man that you will love just for make your parents happy.

 Anyway i hope that you will keep searching for a true love ...maybe an italian handsome love :D ... before takin a husband just because your mama is cryin'.

 

 

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My 2cents worth... Firstly, I'm older and semi-permanently single.

The reason I"ve been single is sort of similar to yours, Connie - but in reverse. I need an strong, independent woman... not the princess type who needs everything to be done for them (including the ridiculous holding the handbag as you walk down the street). Intelligent, mature, educated, wise(-ish), aware, with some interest in spiritual things. (not to mention, sexy).

I've been told such women don't exist :p

 

For me, age is completely irrelevant! For the simple logic that you can get hit by a bus tomorrow... or you can live another 50 years...(and then, when you add in the divorce rates these days, in 50 years you could be married 3 times or more!)

 

Your comment that Chinese take things slowly, but foreigners move things along faster, is a little bit ironic!  Perhaps it's the princess things?? But, so many Chinese (buys and girls) have these huge expectations regarding 'love'. They want to 'love' someone before they really get to know them. And, love & sex go hand in hand (so to say :p). Whereas with foreigners, sex is something that can be done with love, or without. Neither is wrong (unless it's coerced). Chinese meet, 'fall in love' and get married within a year or 2. Non-Chinese meet, see what happens for a few months (or years), live together for a while, then decide they can make it work and then choose to get married. This can take 5 or more years. (so, in that respect, I hope you see the irony of what you wrote/think!)

Chinese tend to far more serious about relationships than non-Chinese. For us, it's something we like doing, and being in... but we don't look so far into the future that every date is expected to lead to marriage.

 

I, personally, would never date a woman who is "looking to get married". In my mind, that means the marriage is far more important than the person she marries.

 

Parents... need to accept that the world they grew up in is not the same as the world today - for better or worse! Therefore, their expectations need to change along with society - or they risk alienating themselves not only from their children, but also their grandchildren. And their children (you and I) need to understand that our parents are also human - and thus, make mistakes (sometimes HUGE ones), are not perfect, and maybe their opinion is poorly formed, based on extremely limited information, and out-dated ideals.

 

Staying in China... I think this is an important point.. do you really want to live the rest of your life in China? Have you experienced anywhere else in the world? If you did get married, would you want to stay here, or would you be willing to move to a better place? Given the way the world is going, especially with communications and transport, it can be almost as fast to travel within China as it is to travel around the world!! Certainly it's faster to go from most countries than it is to catch a train to most other parts of China (48+ hours vs 12 hours). And, with video conferencing, staying in touch is easy! (I'm sure you've have wechat messages from people on the other side of the world!) Are you willing to be adventurous???

There are some important considerations when it comes to this... the most important should be health.If you're having kids, education and access to good, safe food and healthcare, as well as housing. Sentimentality should NOT be a deciding factor here... East or West, home is somewhere you were brought up and may be a pithole! Go for somewhere GOOD!

Some of us only got here a few months ago on a short term contract... some of us got here years ago and are trying to make a business work... if you want long term it's pretty obvious who you should be dating!

 

Salary - NEVER ask about it until your relationship has gotten 'serious'... and that usually means months away. We don't want a girl who only sees us as her personal ATM!

And, lastly, I went skydiving on my 25th birthday, and learned to scuba-dive in the Whitsunday Islands when I was... I don't remember now :p I might go to Thailand and do a refresher course....

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1 hour ago, sainthood said:

Salary - NEVER ask about it until your relationship has gotten 'serious'... and that usually means months away. We don't want a girl who only sees us as her personal ATM!

Clap clap clap!

 

Personal ATM was the best description I've seen so far!

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On 11/15/2016 at 5:47 PM, sainthood said:

My 2cents worth... Firstly, I'm older and semi-permanently single.

The reason I"ve been single is sort of similar to yours, Connie - but in reverse. I need an strong, independent woman... not the princess type who needs everything to be done for them (including the ridiculous holding the handbag as you walk down the street). Intelligent, mature, educated, wise(-ish), aware, with some interest in spiritual things. (not to mention, sexy).

I've been told such women don't exist :p

 

For me, age is completely irrelevant! For the simple logic that you can get hit by a bus tomorrow... or you can live another 50 years...(and then, when you add in the divorce rates these days, in 50 years you could be married 3 times or more!)

 

Your comment that Chinese take things slowly, but foreigners move things along faster, is a little bit ironic!  Perhaps it's the princess things?? But, so many Chinese (buys and girls) have these huge expectations regarding 'love'. They want to 'love' someone before they really get to know them. And, love & sex go hand in hand (so to say :p). Whereas with foreigners, sex is something that can be done with love, or without. Neither is wrong (unless it's coerced). Chinese meet, 'fall in love' and get married within a year or 2. Non-Chinese meet, see what happens for a few months (or years), live together for a while, then decide they can make it work and then choose to get married. This can take 5 or more years. (so, in that respect, I hope you see the irony of what you wrote/think!)

Chinese tend to far more serious about relationships than non-Chinese. For us, it's something we like doing, and being in... but we don't look so far into the future that every date is expected to lead to marriage.

 

I, personally, would never date a woman who is "looking to get married". In my mind, that means the marriage is far more important than the person she marries.

 

Parents... need to accept that the world they grew up in is not the same as the world today - for better or worse! Therefore, their expectations need to change along with society - or they risk alienating themselves not only from their children, but also their grandchildren. And their children (you and I) need to understand that our parents are also human - and thus, make mistakes (sometimes HUGE ones), are not perfect, and maybe their opinion is poorly formed, based on extremely limited information, and out-dated ideals.

 

Staying in China... I think this is an important point.. do you really want to live the rest of your life in China? Have you experienced anywhere else in the world? If you did get married, would you want to stay here, or would you be willing to move to a better place? Given the way the world is going, especially with communications and transport, it can be almost as fast to travel within China as it is to travel around the world!! Certainly it's faster to go from most countries than it is to catch a train to most other parts of China (48+ hours vs 12 hours). And, with video conferencing, staying in touch is easy! (I'm sure you've have wechat messages from people on the other side of the world!) Are you willing to be adventurous???

There are some important considerations when it comes to this... the most important should be health.If you're having kids, education and access to good, safe food and healthcare, as well as housing. Sentimentality should NOT be a deciding factor here... East or West, home is somewhere you were brought up and may be a pithole! Go for somewhere GOOD!

Some of us only got here a few months ago on a short term contract... some of us got here years ago and are trying to make a business work... if you want long term it's pretty obvious who you should be dating!

 

Salary - NEVER ask about it until your relationship has gotten 'serious'... and that usually means months away. We don't want a girl who only sees us as her personal ATM!

And, lastly, I went skydiving on my 25th birthday, and learned to scuba-dive in the Whitsunday Islands when I was... I don't remember now :p I might go to Thailand and do a refresher course....

Jesus, old fashion guy, you don't need to take this topic so seriously. Just hit on her, and use condoms, make sure it's double-bagged! Or you just have to pay some pennis or don't have to at all, chicks will dig. Not bad for your freezing-cold bed.

Will you come back on Chrismas?  Those beaches are really getting pleasant as Summer's coming

 

 

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There are some important considerations when it comes to this... the most important should be health.If you're having kids, education and access to good, safe food and healthcare, as well as housing. 

----------------------------------------------------

Guess what? Speak for yourself. For a country where those kids could not do calculations above their finger numbers, seriously, I doubt the education quality here, not to mention those donkeys who just graduated from universities, except those top ones.

Healthcare? It's a joke. Those GPs are really incapable of telling you what you've contracted. Either paying for expensive private insurance, or stay on a long list waiting for a physical check with medicare. Specialists do have theories, but are far less experienced than their counterparts in China. Want to see a specialist? Fine, pay 250 bucks first.

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On 25/11/2016 at 9:01 PM, Dan.Tan said:

There are some important considerations when it comes to this... the most important should be health.If you're having kids, education and access to good, safe food and healthcare, as well as housing. 

----------------------------------------------------

Guess what? Speak for yourself. For a country where those kids could not do calculations above their finger numbers, seriously, I doubt the education quality here, not to mention those donkeys who just graduated from universities, except those top ones.

Healthcare? It's a joke. Those GPs are really incapable of telling you what you've contracted. Either paying for expensive private insurance, or stay on a long list waiting for a physical check with medicare. Specialists do have theories, but are far less experienced than their counterparts in China. Want to see a specialist? Fine, pay 250 bucks first.

Are you actually trying to insult Australia??? Seriously?????

From the land where people use a calculator to do 10+20.....

"not to mention those donkeys who just graduated from universities, except those top ones"... Ummm - are you aware that EVERY Australian university ranks in the TOP 1000 in the world????

 

"Healthcare? It's a joke. Those GPs are really incapable of telling you what you've contracted." Again, what are you comparing to? If you're comparing to China, then you're clearly just trolling!

 

" or stay on a long list waiting for a physical check with medicare"

Or, make a booking 2 days in advance... I've NEVER had a problem getting in to see a doctor! Neither for something urgent, and thus same day (same hour...), nor for something in advance (ie, a day or 2). AND not had to pay a cent for the privilege! Just hand over the Medicare card, and the doctors was free (including the blood test). And if I needed medicine, they're all subsidised by the government.

As for the price to see a specialist... yeah, I won't argue that...

 

 

But, let's compare all this to the land where 90% of women are told to have a C-section, because apparently it's healthier for the baby and mother.....!

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